Stupid Instructions
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
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On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
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On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
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On a bar of Dial soap -- Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be?)
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On some Swanson frozen dinners -- Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion.)
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On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- Do not turn upside down.
(Well ... duh, a bit late, huh!)
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On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- Product will be hot after heating.
(And you thought?)
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On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't this save me time?)
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On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
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On Nytol Sleep Aid -- Warning: May cause drowsiness.
(I'm taking this because?)
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On most brands of Christmas lights -- For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to what?)
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On a Japanese food processor -- Not to be used for the other use.
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
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On Sainsbury's peanuts -- Warning: contains nuts.
(Talk about a news flash!)
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On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
(Step 3: say what?)
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On a child's Superman costume -- Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
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On a Swedish chainsaw -- Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(Oh my gosh! Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even chuckle).
jokes
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