You Know You're a New Yorker When :

YOU TAKE THE TRAIN HOME AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE
ON THE PLATFORM THE
DOORS WILL OPEN THAT WILL LEAVE YOU RIGHT IN FRONT
OF THE EXIT
STAIRWAY.


YOU KNOW WHAT A "REGULAR" COFFEE IS.



IT'S NOT MANHATTAN; IT'S THE "CITY".



YOU GET UPSET THAT A CABBIE IS OBEYING ALL THE RULES
OF THE ROAD.



YOU'RE WILLING TO TAKE IN STRANGE PEOPLE AS
ROOMMATES SIMPLY TO HELP
PAY THE RENT.



THERE IS NO NORTH AND SOUTH. IT'S "UPTOWN" OR
"DOWNTOWN."



IF YOU'RE REALLY FROM NEW YORK YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY
NO CONCEPT OF WHERE
NORTH AND SOUTH ARE.... AND EAST OR WEST IS
"CROSSTOWN."



YOU CROSS THE STREET ANYWHERE BUT ON THE CORNERS AND
YOU YELL AT CARS
FOR NOT RESPECTING THE FACT.



YOU MOVE 8,000 MILES AWAY, SPEND 10 YEARS LEARNING
THE LOCAL LANGUAGE
AND PEOPLE STILL KNOW YOU'RE FROM BROOKLYN THE
MINUTE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.



YOU RETURN AFTER 10 YEARS AND THE FIRST FOODS YOU
WANT ARE A "REAL" PIZZA AND "REAL" BAGEL.



A 500 SQUARE FOOT APARTMENT IS LARGE.



YOUR CO-WORKER COMMUTES 45 MINUTES BY TRAIN TO A
3,000 SQUARE FOOT
HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS THAT WAS THE SAME PRICE AS THAT
SAME 500 SQUARE
FOOT APARTMENT OF YOURS THAT TAKES ONLY 35 MINUTES
TO GET TO AND YOU
THINK 'HE'S A SUCKER'.


YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN ALL THE DIFFERENT
RAY'S PIZZAS.



YOU ARE NOT UNDER THE MISTAKEN IMPRESSION THAT ANY
HUMAN BEING WOULD
BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND A P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT
ON THE SUBWAY.

>
>
> YOU KNOW WHO MR. G. IS.
>
>

YOU HAVE AT LEAST 50 MENUS IN YOUR APARTMENT, TWO
THIRDS OF WHICH YOU
HAVE NEITHER ORDERED FROM NOR EVEN HEARD OF.


YOU WOULDN'T BOTHER ORDERING PIZZA IN ANY OTHER
CITY.



YOU KNOW THAT OFF-THE-SHELF INSECTICIDES ARE JUST
LAUGHING GAS TO THE
SUPERIOR ROACHES COHABITATING WITH YOU IN THE 500
SQUARE FOOT
APARTMENT.



YOU GET READY TO ORDER DINNER EVERY NIGHT AND MUST
CHOOSE FROM THE
MAJOR FOOD GROUPS which are: CHINESE, ITALIAN,
MEXICAN OR INDIAN.



YOU'RE NOT IN THE LEAST BIT INTERESTED IN GOING TO
TIMES SQUARE ON NEW
YEAR'S EVE.



YOUR INTERNAL CLOCK IS PERMANENTLY SET TO KNOW WHEN
ALTERNATE SIDE OF
THE STREET PARKING REGULATIONS ARE IN EFFECT.



YOU KNOW WHAT A BODEGA IS.



YOU KNOW HOW TO FOLD THE NEW YORK TIMES IN HALF,
VERTICALLY, SO THAT
YOU CAN READ IT ON THE SUBWAY OR BUS WITHOUT> KNOCKING OFF OTHER
PASSENGER'S HATS.



SOMEONE BUMPS INTO YOU, AND YOU CHECK FOR YOUR
WALLET.



YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE THE NICE LADY WALKING DOWN THE
ROAD HAVING A
PERFECTLY NORMAL CONVERSATION WITH HERSELF.



YOU PAY "ONLY" $230 A MONTH TO PARK YOUR CAR.



YOU CRINGE AT HEARING PEOPLE PRONOUNCE HOUSTON ST.
LIKE THE CITY IN
TEXAS.



THE PRESIDENTIAL VISIT IS A MAJOR TRAFFIC JAM, NOT
AN HONOR.



FILM CREWS ON YOUR BLOCK ANNOY YOU, NOT EXCITE YOU.
(THEY TAKE UP ALL
THE PARKING SPACES!)


YOU CAN NAP ON THE SUBWAY AND NEVER MISS YOUR STOP.



THE DELI GUY GIVES YOU A STRAW WITH ANY BEVERAGE YOU
BUY, EVEN IF IT IS
BEER.



THAT'S NEW YORK, BABY! YA GOTTA LOVE IT!


IF YOU ARE A TRUE NEW YORKER SEND THIS TO EVERYONE
LIKE YOURSELF