Monday, December 12, 2005


Smart Ass Answer #5:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a
man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench
coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see
your ticket not your stub."

Smart Ass Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these
turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Smart Ass Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down
his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied,
"Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped
laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Smart Ass Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads,
"Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he
gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car
comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his
hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

AND NOW........FOR .THE..........

#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004........................
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I
won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a
nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your
immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy
in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if
tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is
restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and
sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

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