CREATION STORY

>> >> In the beginning, God created the Heavens and
>> >> the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli,
>> >> cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red
>> >> vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would
>> >> live long and healthy lives.
>> >>
>> >> Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben
>> >> and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creame Donuts. And
>> >> Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man
>> >> said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're
>> >> at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10
>> >> pounds. And Satan smiled.
>> >>
>> >> And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman
>> >> might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And
>> >> Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and
>> >> sugar from the cane and combined them.
>> >>
>> >> And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
>> >>
>> >> So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
>> >>
>> >> And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing,
>> >> buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And
>> >> Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the
>> >> repast.
>> >>
>> >> God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy
>> >> vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."
>> >>
>> >> And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
>> >> chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
>> >> platter. And Man gained more weight and his
>> >> cholesterol went through the roof.
>> >>
>> >> God then created a light, fluffy white cake,
>> >> named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good."
>> >>
>> >> Satan then created chocolate cake and named it
>> >> "Devil's Food."
>> >>
>> >> God then brought forth running shoes so that His
>> >> children might lose those extra pounds.
>> >>
>> >> And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so
>> >> Man would not have to toil changing the channels.
>> >> And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the
>> >> flickering blue light and gained pounds.
>> >>
>> >> Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low
>> >> in fat and brimming with nutrition.
>> >>
>> >> And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and
>> >> sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried
>> >> them. And Man gained pounds.
>> >>
>> >> God then gave lean beef so that Man might
>> >> consume fewer calories and still satisfy his
>> >> appetite.
>> >>
>> >> And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent
>> >> double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with
>> >> that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!"
>> >>
>> >> And Satan said, "It is good."
>> >>
>> >> And Man went into cardiac arrest.
>> >>
>> >> God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
>> >>
>> >> Then Satan created HMOs.
>> >>
>> >> Thought for the day ....... There is more money
>> >> being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than
>> >> on Alzheimer's research.
>> >>
>> >> This means that by 2040, there should be a large
>> >> elderly population with perky boobs and huge
>> >> erections and absolutely no recollection of what to
>> >> do with them.